Oresama goes on a diet!
by soldiette
Summary: Gasp! The great Atobe Keigo goes on a diet! But how long will he last? The Hyotei regulars try and find out. slight Hyotei crack
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Notes: hello thee, people! i know i haven't updated for a long time so pardon me for my absence XD but anyway, here's my new fic. i wrote this during math o.0 yes, i know, how weird. errr...i promised you guys an ouran fic but then i'm currently obsessed with PoT, so my supposed ouran fics and my gakuen alice fic "music box" will be on hiatus.**

**i got the inspiration from this story just today. im attempting to go back on my original diet rolls eyes yey for me. :**

**oh yeah, Hiyoshi Wakashi, another Hyotei regular, is not included in this fic. i purposefully left him out XD**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

All hell broke loose in Hyotei Gakuen that day.

It was a Monday, the beginning of a new week of school, and the regulars of Hyotei Gakuen's tennis club were eating in their usual lunch spot in one of the school gardens. Team captain Atobe Keigo was opening his lunchbox and examining his food, while the other regulars, except for Akutagawa Jiroh, did the same. Jiroh, as usual, was sleeping again.

"Ew Atobe! What is _that_?" Mukahi Gakuto peeked at the captain's lunchbox and saw a slimy, green substance that looked like big clusters of molds.

"Spinach patties. I asked my maid to cook it for me this morning. It tastes—" Atobe took a slice of the his said lunch and spits it out of his mouth within a second after tasting it. "HORRIBLE!"

"But do you intend on eating that for lunch?" asked Oshitari Yuushi as he read one of his chemistry books.

"Hmmm…yes, I actually do."

"Oh really now? Why so?"

"Because I'm on a diet."

Everyone who heard Atobe's statement turned to look at him. Surprised looks were plastered on their faces, and this made Atobe wonder. There wasn't anything wrong in what he just said; so why are they looking at him like as if he just declared that he was a gay lord?

For a while, silence surrounded the regulars as they tried to let Atobe's words register in their minds. Yet their train of thoughts were suddenly broken by the sound of laughter that came from two of their teammates.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"I demand that you stop laughing, Gakuto. I don't think there is anything funny with what I just said."

"Atobe…on…a…DIET!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS!!!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!" said Shishido Ryoh in between his hysterical fits of laughter. It was rather unusual though. Who would have thought that the great Atobe Keigo himself would go on a _diet_? But as weird as it seemed, Atobe still thought that they had no right to laugh at him, the infallible "ore-sama."

Atobe turned to look around to look around to see the other members' reactions. He saw that Ootori Choutarou tried to supresss his laughter, while Oshitari smirked. Jiroh was still sleeping, oblivious to what was happening around him. Kabaji Munehiro, meanwhile, had that same, blank look on his face. Atobe could tell that his best friend was amused though, since a certain glint in his eyes indicated that he was very entertained with what was happening.

"This is very unlike you, Atobe. Would Ore-sama care to enlighten us about the reason behind this _diet_? Oshitari's emphasis on the last word made Atobe twitch slightly.

"There is no reason behind this diet of mine, Oshitari" Atobe snapped. He was obviously very pissed. "Except for the fact that I just want to go on one. Is that so unusual?"

"HELL YEAH!" Even if he tried, Shishido could not stop his own laughter; but a death glare from his buchou seemed to do the trick.

"For someone who thinks of himself as god-like, it's pretty abnormal to deprive yourself of your usual, scrumptious menu of delicacies."

"Oshitari has a point. I mean, why would a self-proclaimed Apollo go on a DIET???" Even Hyotei's tactless acrobatic player seemed confused and bewildered by the whole idea of their buchou going on a diet.

"Excuse you, I am NOT a self-proclaimed Apollo! I'll have you know that everyone thinks of me as a god and even more." Shishido rolled his eyes in the background as Atobe said this, yet Atobe decided to ignore him. "And besides, I can do anything I want to do, whether it be to diet or to stuff myself with sweets. Ne, Kabaji?"

"Usu."

"Oh, well, that's too bad then Atobe-sempai," cut Choutarou with that usual, bashful tone of his. "My cooked packed me some of the chocolate soufflé that you wanted and I thought that I could share it with you and everyone else. But since you're on a diet—"

"Chocolate…souffle?" Those two words had a very grave effect on Atobe. He swallowed deeply as he tried not to look affected.

"Hai sempai."

Atobe grew pensive for a moment, and the regulars anticipated what he was going to do next. Everyone knew that Atobe adored Choutarou's cook's soufflé…but will he give in to the temptation and satisfy himself with that guilty, sweet pleasure?

Atobe cleared his throat. Surely he knew that his teammates wanted to see him falter with this new diet of his, but Ore-sama refused to give them the satisfaction.

""Ore-sama admires you for your thoughtfulness, Choutarou-kun, but you're right; I am on a diet. So I cannot eat some of that soufflé of yours even if you beg me to do so."

Shishido snorted. "Ha! I bet your ass that you can't last in that diet of yours even for just two days."

"Are you challenging me, Shishido?" asked Atobe in a deadly tone.

"What do you think, _ore-sama?_" the dash specialist replied casually, yet his last words seemed to have a hint of mockery in them.

"That just sounded like a challenge to me, Atobe," Oshitari looked up from the book that he was reading and saw a very infuriated Atobe that was ready to explode any moment.

"I'll have you know, Shishido, that Ore-sama NEVER backs out when he is provoked. And you are just going to end up being embarrassed since I do intend to stick to this diet of mine, so I suggest that you forget about this crazy idea of yours, lest you want to be humiliated."

"You're just saying that because you can't do it."

"What did you say?"

"You heard me. Unless of course you're starting to become deaf, or you just forgot to clean your ears this morning."

"I bet you I can last for even two weeks of dieting."

"I bet you can't."

"Loser has to run around the tennis court wearing nothing but a g-string."  
"You got yourself a deal, Atobe Keigo."

Shishido shakes Atobe's hand, confirming their new deal; each of them were very determined to win. "_I have to win this bet. No one is worthy enough to see me in my almost-naked glory!_" thought Atobe.

"Wait buchou, let's make this more interesting. Loser has to run around the tennis court clad in only a g-string, and at the same time he has to be the personal slave of the winner for a week," stated Shishido smugly.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Don't forget to clean my tennis shoes next next Monday. I'll make sure I don't forget to give one of my servants a break."

"Don't count on it, Atobe."

The rest of the very amused regulars just watched their two teammates bickering. "_This day cannot be any funnier than usual_" Oshitari thought. "Now this should be exciting."

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**_how was it, nya? XD rate and review!  
_**


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Hey guys

**Author's Notes: Hey guys! Here's another chapter of **_**Ore-sama goes on a Diet**_**! I had a hard time updating this series since I've been paying more attention to the players of Rikkaidai lately, specially the Platinum Pair. XD Anyhow, thank Kami-sama that I was able to gather inspiration for this fic. So I hope you guys enjoy this and please review!**

**Oh and please don't mind if there are any typos. I wasn't able to edit this fic properly, just like the previous chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in this fic except for the plot and my undying love for Tenipuri.**

News about Atobe's diet immediately spread in the school, just like how a wildfire would spread rapidly in a forest.

"Atobe-sama, what diet are you on?"

"Why are you dieting in the first place, Atobe-sama?"

"You're perfect just the way you are, sempai! You're still so hot!"

Atobe could not believe this. He walked in the hallway first thing in the morning the day after he made that stupid bet with that incompetent dash specialist, and his fan girls immediately greeted him, which would have made him glad— except for the fact that their usual greeting was replaced by a bombardment of questions about his self-deprivation of food.

He stepped into the classroom, ignoring the girls that interrogated him and the whispers that came from his fellow classmates. He walked towards his desk, which was next to that of the tensai of the Kansai region.

"Good morning there, Atobe. Why the frown on your face? You'll get wrinkles at a very early age if you keep that up."

"Shut the fuck up, Oshitari. I am not in the mood."

"Oh, why so? I'm sure our buchou had slept well last night and that you ate a good and healthy meal this morning."

Atobe glared at Oshitari. He knew he was trying to provoke him by being sarcastic. In truth, he _didn't _have a good meal; he only had 6 pieces of almonds—_pieces_, not cups, mind you, and a great dose of water as a substitute to his usual bagel with cream cheese and fresh milk in the morning. He now felt ravished, but he wasn't about to tell that to his best friend; he still had his pride to hold on to, after all.

"What are you talking about, Oshitari? Of course I had a good meal. Are you assuming that I didn't and that I _starved _myself?"

"That's not what I said, Atobe. You look rather…guilty. _Did _you starve yourself?"

"Of course not! I just told you that I didn't. What would give you that idea?"

Oshitari gave him a knowing look, and Atobe couldn't help but gulp. So Oshitari did know. What's there to hide that cannot be found by the one and only "Oshitari of the one thousand skills?"

Atobe was about to have a one-sided argument with Oshitari again until Shishido walked towards them. _Yes, I'm saved—or not._ He was about to silently thank the cause of his present suffering for interrupting his previous conversation with Oshitari, but he changed his mind when he saw the smirk on the brunette's face.

"Hey Atobe! Whatsup?" Shishido greeted. Noticing the frown on the grey-haired buchou's face when he walked into the classroom, he could not help but walk over to Atobe's chair and give him a morning greeting, Shishido style. "You seem a little pale. I'm guessing you haven't eaten your breakfast yet, eh? Don't worry, our deal was for you to stick on the diet, not to be all anorex—"

"Put a sock in it, Shishido. I'll have you know that I ate a healthy and scrumptious breakfast that consisted of a serving of steamed broccoli and fish eyes which are rich in DNA."

"Ew," Shishido looked really disgusted. How Atobe could manage to eat those kinds of dishes were beyond him. "Dude, I feel for you. If I were you, I'd give up the bet. You have to eat something…_normal. _We wouldn't want our team to lose because our Buchou got sick of eating fish eyes or something of that sort." He put on a fake, sympathetic face which irked Atobe even more.

"You know Shishido, if you're just afraid of losing to me, well, you can just say so," was Atobe's arrogant reply. He ran a hand through his already perfect hair, and he could not stop a smirk from forming on his oh so flawless face.

"What did you say, you narciss—"

"That is no way to talk to your superior, Shishido."

"Superior my ass, Atobe!" Shishido clenched his fists, resisting the urge to punch him right at that moment. "I don't give a shit whether or not you're our buchou, but just so you know, I'm going to make sure that you _lose _this bet of ours!"

Atobe chuckled. He never knew that even his team mates can be so overconfident. "Don't say things that you aren't even certain of, Shishido. Do you really think you can defeat me, ahn?"

"Of course! Why, this isn't tennis, Atobe-_sama" _mocked Shishido, for he did not want to lose even in a small and useless argument.

Before things could get worse, Oshitari decided to cut in. "By the way Atobe, what diet are you on, anyway?"

The question startled the King of Hyotei, since he didn't really think about it. He just decided to go on a diet and before he knew it, he just started to starve himself. "Well, I'm currently following the South Beach diet while complying to the rules of being a pescetarian," he replied nonchalantly as to hide his ignorance about the whole matter. He pretended to be fixated on his nails as to try and avoid further questions.

"Hmmm…from what I know, you're not supposed to be eating carbohydrates during the first two weeks of the South Beach diet. And since you're not allowed to eat meat, then all you can munch on are vegetables and fish," Shishido stated, looking all smug.

"You cannot be any more correct, Shishido. What's your point?" Atobe was really getting irritated now.

"Whoa Atobe, you don't need to get all pms-y on me. I'm just letting you know that if I see you eat a single strand of meat, then I'll have to inform the whole school about your public display of your…well…_assets."_

"Why you…!"

Fortunately, the bell for first period rang before Atobe could say anything offensive as a retaliation to Shishido's previous comment. The latter gave a chuckle before he left to go to his own classroom while the former clenched his fists in frustration.

_He is going to regret his provocation against Ore-sama, the King of Hyotei._

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"So Atobe, watcha gonna have for lunch today? I bet it's going to be snake gizzard," sniggered Gakuto once again just like the day before.

"On the contrary, I think I'm having starfish brains. Want some?" Atobe offered in an overly sweet tone that had an underlying evilness to it as he moved his lunch container closer to the acrobat's reach.

"No thanks," the purple-haired junior replied immediately while muttering "I think I'm gonna be sick," as he clutched his belly.

"Oi Atobe, stop grossing the rest of us out. Some, if not most of us, actually want to ease our hunger by eating _normal _food," Shishido stated as he bit on his grilled eel. Hyotei's buchou just gave him a glare since he was still pissed about what happened that morning while the other senior just shrugged.

As Atobe opened his lunch box, his eyes widened when he caught sight of what he was supposedly going to eat. Oshitari leaned forward to look at the dish that flabbergasted his best friend, and he smirked.

"Are…aren't those porckchops?"

"Thanks for stating the obvious Oshitari," replied Atobe with a voice that dripped with sarcasm. He silently cursed his cook and made a mental note to scold him later on. "_This is not my day," _he thought.

"Oh? Your chef must have forgotten that you're on a diet Atobe!" commented Shishido once again since he secretly found delight in his team mate's misfortune. "That's such a shame. And to think that you're not supposed to eat meat. I would offer you some of this scrumptious grilled eel that I have but unfortunately, this is the last piece that I have," he taunted as he gulped the last piece of the said eel. "But if you're really hungry, I guess you have no choice but to eat what's there."

It was quite obvious that he was being teased, yet Atobe struggled to keep his cool and not pay attention to the dash specialist's provocation.

"That is quite unfortunate Shishido, but luckily this problem can be solved," Atobe replied with a smirk that made Shishido wary. Atobe pulled out his cellular phone in his pocket, dialed a few numbers and waited for the person on the other line to answer before saying, "Hey, can you tell the driver to bring me one of those ripe mangoes that was recently brought in from the Philippines and a Fuji apple? Yeah. Mhm. I'd like them to be brought here to me in five minutes. Yeah. Okay."

After hanging up, Atobe smiled triumphantly towards Shishido while the latter was secretly irritated that their buchou's problem was easily solved. It was now his turn to clench his fists, while the other just smirked evilly.

_Ore-sama: 1. Shishido: 0._


End file.
